coffee and haiku

TMI haiku

there is a rumbling
followed by a stinky smell
i think i have gas

a coffee haiku

if it weren't for my
cup of liquid ambition
i wouldn't make it

monday morning observations

It was a cold and rainy weekend; it was one of those weekends where I don’t want to do anything more than lounge around in my pajamas and watch all the shows that my DVR recorded over the week, so that is just what I did.  There were houseguests this weekend; the kind that likes to get up and fry bacon and cook grits and oatmeal, and this was a welcome diversion from the norm.  I could have been at Mos Def Friday night, but the idea of putting up with Strip traffic on a Friday when people were coming into town for Valentines Day was not at all appealing.

And yes, it is Valentines Day, isn’t it?  I have no Valentine to speak of.  I have a few that would like to be the Valentine, but they ain’t ready yet. 

Why does he call me and act like I should be so overwhelmed and excited that it’s him?  It’s not that exciting anymore.  You were a Ritz; now you’re just some regular old crackers.

the new guy

After reading my web page, he said he expected to find something there about him, and I told him that I didn’t really know what to say.  There isn’t really much to say at this point.  We’ve had good telephone conversations and he knows how to make me laugh.  These are good things right?

Everyone wants to rush to the end; I prefer to enjoy the beginning.

conversation haiku

intelligent men
are an aphrodisiac
big brains turn me on

morning haiku

i would rather sleep
and wake up when my body
has gotten its rest

the itsy bitsy spider

Last night before I went to bed, I decided I should check my bed first, in case that spider was still around.

I took each blanket off one at a time and shook it.

Wouldn't you know, when I went to shake the flat sheet, out he tumbled, slowly, as if he had just been locked in there chilling all day long.  I guess I jumped up and threw the blanket so fast, I didn't know he was still wrapped up in them.  Well, he know has a new home somewhere in the sewer because I put him right down the toilet.  He was a big sucker too.

the morning blues

I have my television timer set to wake me up with CNN Headline news each morning. Having the television come on in the morning instead of a clock radio is good, because it's not as jarring as whatever alarm tone would blare out, and I don't have to turn it up as loud as I would the radio in order to actually hear it go off. I wake up as soon as I hear the television, although I don't always get out of bed immediately. I like to hug the sheets. I like to lay there being lazy and pretending that I don't have anywhere to be. This morning was no exception.

I listened to a reporter saying Larry King interviewed Donald Rumsfeld and bla bla bla he tried to turn in his resignation bla bla bla the President wouldn’t accept it bla bla bla and as I turned over to switch positions, I felt something lightly tickle me across my arm. Thinking (hoping) it was the blanket, I moved my arm just a hair, and from the corner of my eye, I saw him/her/it running across my bed towards my pillow. I immediately jumped my naked ass (I sleep in the nude) out of the bed, and in one smooth movement, I had my glasses on my nose and the light switched on. The little bastard was too fast for me though because by the time I through the pillows and blankets back, he was gone.

I know he’s somewhere in my room laughing at me, and I didn’t get my extra thirty minutes in this morning.

At least the time was put to a more productive use.

Houston Gouges His Eye Out In A Suicide Attempt

There are way too many jokes I could make, but they would all be totally inappropriate, and instead I will just give you the straight business.

After being thwarted in a suicide attempt in a London hotel room, R&B singer Houston gouged his own eye out.

I cannot imagine what was going through his head. 

say it loud!

Happy Black History Month.

The Pride and the Journey